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Do you ever get sick of words? I've got all these thoughts and ideas but can't bring myself to bind them by the constraints of language. Instead they just keep swooshing round my head. Maybe a picture is in order. Or maybe some tidying up. Or maybe just leave them be.

Sitting.

I've been running head-first into my days recently. Living without thinking, reacting rather than proacting. This morning I'm going to try and ease into the day by contemplating what I want to achieve. Purposeful steps instead of stumbling around.
Now, where did I put those cupcakes?

All the fridge puns are used up.

We now have our new 2m high fridge freezer on board. It's so ace! I still really wanted a red Smeg fridge but that would have been nearly a grand extra so sense ruled the day. We do have plans for this one though. It's gunna look awesome.

Hey bro'

Me and my bro.
He is awesome.

visitors visitors visitors.

Ok, so my mum has headed up North to spend time with her brothers and sisters now. We had such an awesome time.

We drank chocolate shots with marshmallows.
We walked for 10 miles along the Thames.
We went out in the pedalo and found a Grebe nest and a Coot nest (don't worry, we didn't disturb them).
We sat in the sun.
We ate yummy food.
We watched vortex fall through the space where the skylight was, and then land on our bed.
We went to rollerderby practice together. She was an excellent spectator.
We went to Covent Garden.
I showed her how to retouch photos.
I showed her how to take photos with an SLR.
She nearly got killed by our fridge. (see here)

And now my brother and his wife are over. (known collectively as Philina).
They are recovering from much fun on their Europe and Dubai trip, before setting off for the final leg in Croatia, and then heading back home to New Zealand.

And then next week I'm on jury duty. I'll be taking my sketchbook for all those long hours of deliberation and doodle-ation.

out for a paddle

It's amazing being out in the little pedalo. Me 'n' mum went out in it and let it drift for a while. Suddenly, all the wildlife pops out from hiding places and busies itself.
We even saw huge fish squirming in the shallows.
And two male swans dancing for a female.

Yesterday, me 'n' mum went for a walk by the river. I think we did about 10 miles. It was beautiful!

Mother's Day

My mum arrives from New Zealand in a couple of hours. I'm SOOOOO excited.

A time of Growth.

The garden has sprung into life. This weekend I picked enough rocket, lettuce and radishes to do us for tea. Even the potatoes I planted a couple of weeks ago have sent up leaves. It's amazing to watch the fruits of your labour grow.





Perhaps the biggest surprise of all was when I lifted the lid on my mushroom growing kit that I had stored in the engine room. I had given up hope on it sprouting anything. Now I've decided that mushrooms are like pots, they don't grow when you're watching too closely.






This afternoon we took the Pedalo (that we have now called 'Monster') into the lake. It was so peaceful to gently float around, so close to the water, so close to the wildlife. I saw a cormorant drying his wings; a pair of kingfishers swooping and diving; a heron gliding and calling; a swan coming up to us to show his swimming skills; a grebe submerging; a coot clattering; geese honking. We got up close the the big disused Lighters and crane barges, and then we alighted onto a little island for a bit of foraging. ( I found a little movable step that'll live on the front deck and a plant pot). I got stung by nettles and tired arms from all the effort, but it made us feel like the luckiest people in the whole world.

Dunny Kami

I bought a  Dunny.



I sprayed it white, ready to paint up.


I used my new Golden Acylics to turn it into my very own Kamikaze Kitten character.






She just needs some wheels and a spray of lacquer and she'll be all finished.

Shoot

Today I assisted Steve on a shoot. I love going to new places and having access to weird locations on shoots. I like to take my little Leica and snap a different perspective of the spaces.

Storm

There was an awesome storm this evening. Thunder, lightening, hail, rain, rainbows. It was beautiful.

commutes

Getting to training is often a 2hour trip each way. A bit longer if I have to include the 30minute cycle to and from the station.

It can be all too easy to consider this as 'wasted time' and in considering it as such, resent the travelling. However, it is in these periods of limbo, of travelling between 'doing' that we get the space away from our lives to gain new perspectives. Time to think. To daydream. To read a book. To sketch. To ponder. It makes us more productive and focused when we DO arrive at our destination and it takes some of the pressure off living in the moment.

Country Living illustrations

Birthday!!!!

I had the best birthday yesterday.

Paddle boat

It turned out to be quite a physical day in the end!
After my run this morning, I painted up planters and then Steve and I went on a paddle boat hunt. He'd spotted a half burried one in the woods near the marina so we set off with a boiler suit and trowels and dug it up. We tipped the gunk out and carried it back to the boat. (My arms still haven't recovered from this!) We gave it a hose down and will give it a proper scrub come the next sunny day. I'd also like to paint it up with pink hotrod flames and my Kamikaze number 9 logo. I couldn't resist taking it for a spin whilst it was still a bit mucky though!





Whilst we were in the woods we also found a big metal box that had been dumped, so I ground the rust off it, hammerited it, and sprayed it blue. Now it is all ready to hold new plants.

AND I ran out of wood paint for my remaining planters so I hopped on the bike and cycled to homebase. Only a couple of miles each way, but enough on top of all the other exercise to leave me feeling physically exhausted and happy this evening.

It's been a good day.

Running forwards

This morning I went for a run. The air was cold and icy but the sun was hot and bright. I'm rubbish at running. It makes my lungs scream and my teeth hurt. And I was running for less than one song on my ipod, walked for a bit, ran for another song, walked, then ran all the way back down the jetty. But I love 'having been' for a run. It clears the mind a bit. Boosts your energy, focuses your mind on the day ahead. Which is especially useful as I've been feeling so adrift of late.

Because I had so many weeks of being incredibly busy- bouncing from one job to the next, I was just reacting to where my career was headed. I didn't have to think about anything other than the immediate project. Now that I've had a little while to recover from that I've become lazy and complacent. No real priorities, just bumbling along.

So it's time to start running forwards under my own steam now.

Brummmmm

I went to Birmingham this weekend to watch 'The Clash of the Titans: Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames 'v' Glasgow Rollergirls'. I had so much fun.
I would never have believed that I'd go away with a bunch of girls and watch a sport, stay in a motel, train with another league the next day, have lunch with a bunch of girls and come home. I love my teammates, they're all so nice!

Sounds obvious but....

... I've been learning recently that the more you do something the better you get at it.

'Well, duh!' you say. But up until recently I've relied upon natural ability to do stuff. If I wasn't good at something straight away, I'd often give up. Or get distracted by something else if I reached a plateau.

Rollerderby has been a BIG help with this. Each time I practise I work on something new. Focus on a way to get better. I've also noticed it with cooking. The more I cook, the more I feel I can experiment. And building Steve yet another new website- I'm learning and building upon all my past experience. I only hope to push this into my artwork too. The Panic at the Disco work was a nod towards this- I've just got to use what I learnt doing that to move forward rather than off in a new direction.